Sunday, January 23, 2011


If you have followed this blog for long, you will notice that I'm very dishonest and don't often whine or complain about things in my personal life.


*ahem* Perhaps I exaggerate??

Alright, so this post is a bit of personal, but with a fabulously happy ending about writing. Will you continue to read?

The last six months have been really rough for me. Not just in finances, or daily family struggles or children misbehaving; but emotionally and mentally....R-O-U-G-H. It is usually in times like these, I turn to writing. I pump out hundreds of thousands of words (we won't mention that most of them are not used in story form-oh wait, I just told on myself) in blog posts, journals, short stories, novel beginnings(hehe get it?) and letters to the dead.

These last six months, I've possibly pumped out a few hundred words. Total. Period. I'm supposed to be a writer, ya know...I write. But I've found myself instead, thinking about writing a whole lot and then staring at a blank screen. So, then I stare at a TV screen or read to try and inspire myself. Nada.

I've re-evaluated my process. Where my desk sits. How I feel at each point of each day. Is Saturday different than Tuesday? Morning better than night? Afternoon better than ever? I briefly considered moving my desk into the know what they say...... Best thoughts on the pot and all. Not to mention the hundreds of times an idea has appeared to me in the middle of my shower and then *poof* disappear by the time I get out.

I let go and gave up. Let me tell you how well that worked for my self-confidence. Not.

Well tonight, the Prince went to bed early and my wonderful Court Jester went to pick up BFF from work. I put pen to paper and started writing. It was cohesive. It made sense. The words kept coming and coming. Then BFF and Court Jester got home. For a minute, it was okay. And then I suddenly couldn't keep my thoughts straight anymore. I got this funny little tightness in my chest and I thought, "This is ridiculous! I'm not having a panic attack right now. There's no stresser, no fight or negativity flying around." But try as I might, I simply got more irritated and frustrated and the words wouldn't come together for me anymore.

I've suddenly become ....... Write Shy.

I don't want to write when other people are in the room. I don't believe it to be specific to CJ or BFF. I think I just suddenly have gotten some strange affliction that I've never had before. I don't know where I could have caught it. I don't even know why it would infiltrate my very strong Ignore the World to Write instincts!

Having identified this problem is a huge step. Let me tell you about the weight that has broken and tumbled off my chest. Well, it's been replaced by a smaller weight. How to resolve the problem.

That, my Cool Kids, will be for another blog post. ;)


  1. I have a hard time writing when anyone else is I do most of it when no one is.

  2. Interesting, very interesting. Hmmm on resolving the problem. If it's difficult for you to write at home because "hello" how often is home empty. LOL Could you stop on the way to work or on the way home some place quiet? I have friends who only write in libraries or coffee shops.

  3. Funnily, I've become the same way. I used to be able to write with distractions all around me, but now I need TOTAL QUIET (or at least no one saying "Mom?" every three minutes).

  4. Ha ha!! I used to only be able to write in quiet and alone, and now I can write and totally ignore the kids hanging off me! :) Pretty sure it's not GOOD writing, but hey - at some point one can't be too picky!

    I think we go through phases of what works and what doesn't. I think creativity craves a bit of routine... and then needs it changed. Figuring out what is different and needs adjusting is a huge part of the process, so good for you!!

    Can't wait to hear how you plan on solving it!

  5. Oh Kristi, you are a hoot. I can't write when my kids are up. Just can't. I can barely return emails when they are awake. Why? Cause they see me sitting down and realize they aren't bothering me ENOUGH. The "mom?" questions start. The "what are you doing?", and the "I love you.....come watch a movie with me? (that one always guilts me) so up I go and leave the computer. But 10 p.m. comes, and the kids are in bed....taa daaaaa, writig time for me...that is until my husband realizes....I'm sitting and he's not bothering me enough..... :)


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