Where's the Time?

I touched on the subject of finding time to write here, but it was more about settling into a routine. Today, I wanted to reach out to all the other mom's out there that are juggling children, jobs, husbands and writing. First of all, take a moment to pat yourself on the back. I mean, really take a moment. Without you, the house would most likely fall apart, the children would be filthy, and most likely hungry. :) And then you create new worlds with mere words on paper. BRAVO!

When I began really pursuing writing, it was through a writing course. I'm still in the process of taking it. I also had just given birth to my son, our third child. Through breastfeeding and taking care of the princesses, writing happened a couple of times a week. Once the feeding schedule settled down, I really evaluated how important this writing career was.

1. Enlist extra help: If you can afford a sitter, great! If not, sit down with the husband and explain that this writing career will require a certain amount of sacrifice. Even if it is just one hour an evening/morning (whatever your schedules are) ask him to take the reins for one hour. During that one hour-WRITE! Don't blog or email or facebook. Write words, plan a story-outline, whatever gets your wheels turning, do it! If you have older children, explain to them that there is going to be a certain time that while you are at the computer/desk each day, they are to color/paint/draw/play cars/build a tent with pillows-whatever they want to do (within reason) and you focus on your writing. Even if it's only 30 minutes, add that to the hour from hubby and that's 1.5 hr each day for five days, that's 7.5 hours of writing time.
2. Let Go: Depending on the age of your children, I had to realize that my oldest could learn to do some dishes, sweep a floor and clear the table. Even my six year old could do things in the evening to relieve me a few minutes of time. Once I let go of the 'control' of running the household, I found a lot more time to do some social networking AND writing!
3. Dishes Will Wait: So will laundry, toys on the floor, cluttered tables, etc.. etc.. Here's what I've learned from three children. They will follow me and undo everything I've done during the day. Therefore-toys are not a concern until 30 minutes before bedtime. Then everything is to be picked up and put away. I vacuum if it's needed (which it usually is with a crumb leaving prince). I may do a few dishes here and there throughout the day, but the majority of them are left for the evening. Surprisingly, once everyone is in bed, there may be some laundry to fold or put away, but the house is generally clean. Time to write, or read a story to the kids, or yourself. :) This also creates a great new routine of having a clean house in the morning.
4. Get up Early/Stay up Late: Yeah, this part sucks, but if you want to carve out the time...you will. Either get up 30 minutes before everyone a few times a week or stay up late on Friday or Saturday. I get up 30 minutes earlier than everyone on school days. During this time I read blogs, and write mine. If I don't write in mine, I may write a few words in my WIP. When I get home, sometimes, I am lucky enough to have another 20 or 30 minutes before young prince is awake. I take that time to write!
5. Analyze Activities: Are you doing too much? If you work, have three children that each have one activity a piece and you are the den mother for the Girl Scouts and oh yes, the library book club-you have too much going on! Do you really need to be the den mother? Are each of the kids' activities necessary? Maybe they could use a little break too! Once you lose some of those activities that previously held such priority-your writing will thank you.
6. Use The Most of TIME: When you know that you have a dr's appointment that will take more than a few minutes, bring your notebook to write notes or story ideas. It's also a good time to bring books that you may have been putting off reading. Sitting in the field waiting for your soccer pro? Write in a notebook. Bring a notebook and pen with you EVERYWHERE. Are there times you play games online instead of write? Re evaluate and make yourself a block of time specifically for online distractions, then you won't be so tempted to play during writing time.
7. Accept That sometimes It won't Work: There are just those days. Don't beat yourself up and let yourself get into a downward spiral and end up not writing for weeks. There are going to be days that the best laid plans don't count for a hill of beans. It's okay. There's tomorrow.

This isn't the perfect plan, but it's worked fairly smoothly for me and my family. Everyone is different, obviously. My husband, the court jester, is disabled and is therefore home with me each day. But, he is limited in how much he can help me, much like husbands that go out to work each day to support their families. It takes a little time to get used to, but even your children will understand, once explained, that this is mommy's time. And Mom-it's okay to have that. I promise you aren't going to send your kids to therapy for this.