In this tumultuous year of 2010, I've learned a lot. This is to say; I found all the wrong ways of doing things.
I've learned that just because I had two children did not mean I would be a pro at raising child #3. God love him. I've learned that acquiring a job doesn't necessarily relieve stress-no matter how much you talk in the beginning of the changes that are about to occur. I've learned that sometimes I can't be everything for my children; and even sometimes they can't be everything for me. I've learned that life is never what we expect it to be and our decisions are not often made logically-even though we think we are being logical at the time. I've learned that no matter how loudly we protest that we are not a judgemental person; there is a tiny judge sitting in each of our brains.
And at the root of all this, I started thinking about happiness and how we all search for it in our lives. Even when we are happy, part of the human nature is to drive for further happiness (whether that be in wealth, fame, health,etc..) I realized that in most instances of misery that I hear from friends or family; it's not the lack of knowing what will make them happy, but the cost of achieving it that creates friction. Between parents and children, husbands and wives, lovers and friends; the concern for how our actions will make them feel is a roadblock. Sometimes a positive roadblock-don't get me wrong! I realize this is part conscience that makes us human.
However; what happens when so many dominoes are going to fall at the expense of a smile on your face and peace in your heart?
As writers, this is something that is a crucial part of our character development, plot, conclusion and everything in between that sometimes the thought of it all is so deep and overwhelming I get lost in my thoughts of what-ifs. Think of your past for a moment. Remember that one big thing you did that you really stressed and worried about. A move away from home? A divorce? A marriage? What about an unexpected pregnancy or career change? How many people did it affect and did you weigh the cost of their happiness against that of your own?
Some things to ponder as you pound away. And I'd love to hear your thoughts on the cost of happiness.