Wednesday, June 16, 2010

WIP Wednesday

How are your WIPS coming along? Any news to share? I'd love to hear about it!!

I was about to shower after my last intolerable gym class when I heard my aunt’s name coming from the boy’s side of the locker rooms.
            “…Carrie Ann and said every time he arrested her, she tried to get out of it with a blow job. She was drunk twenty-four-seven, man.”
            The voice belonged to Jason Addison, the sheriff’s son. I hated him. I had always hated him, but since my aunt died; I hated him more. Now the burning hatred within the pit of my stomach almost consumed me to a point of spontaneous combustion.
            “Come on, Dalia. One more hour until freedom from this smelly building for three months. Two and a half. Whatever. Let’s go,” Bethany pulled on me impatiently.
            I jumped and glared at her. “Shut. Up.” I stalked into the locker room.
            “What is your problem?”
            “Nothing, I’ll tell you later,” I said through my clenched jaw.
            “Hey Dalia,” called Jason Addison. I didn’t answer, but he continued to yell over the wall. “What do you suppose went through your aunt’s head when she jumped off of them cliffs?”
            I clenched my fists as another male voice that sounded like Patrick Sweeney chimed in, “A big rock!”
            “You assholes better shut up before I come in there and rip your dicks off,” Bethany hollered back.
            “Don’t waste your energy,” I told her. I knew better. This wouldn’t stop until I figured out the truth about my aunt’s death. The sherriff ruled it as a suicide, but I knew my aunt better than that. No one in this town cared enough to investigate any further.
            “Girls,” Coach’s voice boomed on the other side of the wall. “Towel off, get out of here and don’t say another word.”
            Bethany smiled triumphantly and I stepped into the slimy, green shower next to hers.
            “We leave tomorrow morning at six sharp, right?” she asked over the sound of the water spray.
            “Yeah, sharp.”
            “Okay, it might be six-thirty.”
            “Call me if I’m not there at six-thirty.”
            I laughed and got water up my nose. “Bethany, you’re too predictable.”
            She turned off the water. “Just wait. I’ll be there at five-thirty and blow your mind.”
            “That is impossible. The only time you’ve been up at five-thirty is when we stayed at that youth lock in and never went to sleep the night before.”

These are now the very first words in my WIP. I wanted to make sure that I gave a sense of who these two characters are and their relationship. Here are the first..first words. They will still be in the manuscript-just not at the beginning.

My whole body tingled from both lack of sleep and excitement. Bethany and I had been on the road for the past twelve hours talking about our summer internship with Ellie Starr.   I didn’t know much about Ellie until my Aunt died. When I saw how she helped people on TV communicate with ghosts, I knew I had to meet her. I entered her contest and won a summer internship with Ellie and her crew. Of course I picked Bethany to come with me. She’s been my best friend since we were too young to know better. That’s what we always tell people. The electronic voice on the GPS system in the car spoke, “Turn right at the next roadway.”

1 comment:

  1. Love this..and looking forward to more. Gritty and real, I could really envision the scene.


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