wanted to thank Robyn Campbell and Uninvoked for stopping by and helping me see my paragraph in a new light. :) I can't tell you how much it helped, even to hear that it was well written. I don't have a critique group, YET, so there are times when I don't believe my husband's praise anymore. :)
And, to boost my ego further-or to get a little advice for free-I decided to post a little more of this novel in progress. This is the one I'm working on this month with the goal of 25000 words added to it. Speaking of goals, I almost forgot....
Today's WC GOAL: 1500
“Well, we’ve got a long drive to figure out the details. I’m not real thrilled about going back home either.” She stuffed the various clothes and toiletry items back into her suitcase and sat on it to latch the old brass lock.
Jarred let out a sigh and stormed into the living room. “I don’t see my backpack.”
“Anything other than cocaine in it?” she asked sarcastically.
“Yeah, my wallet and some clothes.” He shot back at her.
She studied his face and thought for a moment. He looked a lot like their mother. Audra had always wondered why she didn’t look like her mom or any of her brothers. She never had the opportunity of knowing if she looked like her father.
“Not important, we need to leave, now.”
He pouted, looking like the Jarred she remembered from so many years ago. She suppressed her laughter. It was not the time to be funny.
“Fine, I’ll go back with you, but when shit hits the fan don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he said.
She looked at him warily, empathizing with his desire to stay as far away from Georgia as possible. However, she knew the reality of it was that she couldn’t stay here and avoid some livid drug dealers looking for their drugs or their cash. She had neither to offer them. Audra stepped into the bathroom and quickly changed her clothes. It was hard for her to believe that driving to Pokenoe even existed on her agenda. The events of the past two days seemed too surreal to comprehend. She yanked open the bathroom door to find Jarred standing in front of her with pieces of her broken cell phone in his hands.
Jarred let out a sigh and stormed into the living room. “I don’t see my backpack.”
“Anything other than cocaine in it?” she asked sarcastically.
“Yeah, my wallet and some clothes.” He shot back at her.
She studied his face and thought for a moment. He looked a lot like their mother. Audra had always wondered why she didn’t look like her mom or any of her brothers. She never had the opportunity of knowing if she looked like her father.
“Not important, we need to leave, now.”
He pouted, looking like the Jarred she remembered from so many years ago. She suppressed her laughter. It was not the time to be funny.
“Fine, I’ll go back with you, but when shit hits the fan don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he said.
She looked at him warily, empathizing with his desire to stay as far away from Georgia as possible. However, she knew the reality of it was that she couldn’t stay here and avoid some livid drug dealers looking for their drugs or their cash. She had neither to offer them. Audra stepped into the bathroom and quickly changed her clothes. It was hard for her to believe that driving to Pokenoe even existed on her agenda. The events of the past two days seemed too surreal to comprehend. She yanked open the bathroom door to find Jarred standing in front of her with pieces of her broken cell phone in his hands.
(repost-this wip died after near completion. It may be revived one day...so you don't have to critique as the above writing suggests.)
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